"PURE-T STRESS"

I've been sick for two days.  Sick in the bed, sick.  Though no fevers, no coughs, or colds, or anything like that.  Just pure-T "STRESS".   It made me weak, it made me anxious, it made my skin feel like it was crawly, I didn't feel much like eating.  I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't talk really well, without stammering and just unable to get out the words at times. I felt really nervous.  It made me not want to get dressed, or take a shower, or do much of anything at all.  I drank my coffee, not much could make not want to do that.  But even though I had my amount of caffeine I felt like my mind was foggy, I couldn't keep focused. I kinda felt like I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry, but couldn't.  I felt like my chest was tight, and it was hard to breathe.  I just felt almost sick to my stomach, but not really queasy.  I just totally felt very uneasy.  I've been having some mild dizziness, but for two days that even seemed to be worse.  I could have cared less if did anything for those two days.  They were wasted.  But yet they weren't.  I had to get rejuvenated, I had to restock, regroup, what ever ya wanna call it.  I had to seriously do some thinking.... what has caused this, what can I do about it, and how should I handle it.  Sick, yes, I felt sick, though maybe not in the usual way.  But sick, nevertheless.  ILL. Outta-body weirdness, hearing things around me, but not really listening at all. Sitting and staring at the wall, or out into the marsh, or up at the sky.  Why?  Well, I say it was STRESS.  You say, Stress?  How on earth can that make ya feel those things?  Well wouldn't we all like to know.   I do know this...that everything we do, everything we experience, every interaction we have with our loved ones, our friends, and others..... affects us in many ways.  Of course most things affect our physical being, in one way or another, and that is usually visible. But do we really stop and think about how everything affects our nervous system?   Naaah... not really.   But why wouldn't it?  Our nervous system is a large portion of what makes up our bodies, and is a very, very important part of our make-up, although it can't be seen as the physical body can.  So therefore it makes it hard to see those things that cause us STRESS as affecting our nerves, but it all does affect all parts of our bodies. Our minds are very complex. Our hearts are tough, but they are tender as well.  STRESS can make us feel like hell.  

So where does STRESS come from?  I didn't Google it to see.. but maybe I will, later.... however, I am finding out it can come from many avenues,  anything... maybe a person, a place, or a thing, depending on the time or circumstance.  We don't really think about STRESS, because we are just going through Life, day by day, moment my moment, never stopping to think much about it.  'Til one day.... bam... you are down for the count.  You are out light a light.  You are good for nothing.  You are worn out, you are frazzled, you are torn and totally mixed up about why you are feeling this way.... No coughs, no sneezing, or wheezing... or fevers... (for me anyway) you just know you are not well......maybe you are feeling STRESSED.  Just as being sick in any other way, you have to take care of yourself, when sick with STRESS.  It feels a little weird, I must say, to just be in bed, (pretty much all day, or two...) because you don't feel like the kind of sick you would normally be to stay in bed, but you don't feel up to doing anything else.  Weak as water, not able to concentrate.  It is awful, it is insane that your nervous system could wreak so much havoc in this way that would just put you down.  But it can, and it did.  I am still having a tough time, wondering how to deal with it, how to help myself now get over this STRESS.  STRESS can also sometime be the precursor to Heart Attacks, as it was in the case of my sister's. Her doctor said it was.  I do not want to have a Heart Attack, oh no, I do not. (I am predisposed already from having them "in the family", but I need not add to that, to make my chances greater.)  

No one really thinks about hey.... I am getting STRESSED, not generally. It usually just kinda creeps up on ya, after being exposed to certain stimuli, over time and again......And you feel like Crap... you don't wanna get outta bed, you cannot think clearly, you want to cry but you can't.  STRESS is not our friend, in normal ways. (we all know there are times when a little stress is needed .... that is a different kind of stress, and not applicable here.)

Where does it, the bad-kind of STRESS come from and ..... I don't even think I can begin to talk about what causes that STRESS. Sometimes we do not know, we don't recognize anything different. Then other times, when we stop and think.... ahhhhh... yeah.... that was/is pretty stressful... maybe I need to rethink what I'm doing that may be causing this.  Many times it can start to grow from the circumstances of another, you take on their burdens, because you are concerned, you sometimes worry, and you care, and you share, then BOOM... it feels like their problems are yours, or you sympathize so much with a friend or loved one, and you feel their STRESS 'til it winds up on your back, in your heart, in your mind! Oh yeah.  This is where I'm at.  I cannot deal with that kind of STRESS any longer.  I have to back away.  I have to regain my inner peace somehow. I cannot live with this kind of STRESS, not and function to the best of my ability.  
Ok...  well, I am very sleepy.  I need to rest, and DE-STRESS.   Good night.  <3 ~me