this is what I see...
not the me that You made me, Lord,
I only see just me.
A Me, I hardly recognize,
for this reason, or another,
I feel I'm someone different Lord,
someone kinda like my mother.
The bags, beneath my eyelids, Lord,
those circles, dark and swelled,
are just reminders to me Lord,
that I'm not doing quite so well.
That girl, this woman, I see there Lord,
I barely recognize,
Though, as she never grew taller Lord,
she has sure grown
from side to side.
from side to side.
With hair that's sparse,
and thinning skin,
please help her now to realize, Lord
SHE does still reside within. ....
A different version,
of herself, dear Lord,
who's older
by many years,
a little wiser, yes
she hopes so Lord,
though, she's still trying
to overcome some fears.
SHE does still reside within. ....
A different version,
of herself, dear Lord,
who's older
by many years,
a little wiser, yes
she hopes so Lord,
though, she's still trying
to overcome some fears.
A wonderful....first draft...if you're going to write in poetic form....allow your thoughts to flow freely as you capture them....and then force the poet to go back and do the tedious job of second and third drafts with editing to allow for smooth meter...rhythm...for the reader to flow through your thoughts. With editing, the reader does not stumble over a bump in the rhythm or flow of words or rhyming scheme...all silent techniques that come with a tiny adjustment. In going back...to do the tedious stuff......the reader flows through the melody of your thoughts...and is touched by your opening up of the heart.
ReplyDeleteI love what you've said....it is a keeper.....and will touch so many of us...who see a different self in the mirror. Have you checked your bifocals...that might help.....LOL. LY
This one certainly needs more editing... it got some but not nearly enough... sometimes I get in quite a hurry. Thanks Peggy... :) And YES I have checked them! xo
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